Good morning dear neglected blog! I'm so sorry for the absence. If it in any way makes up for it, you should know I'm about to embark upon a kind of self-flagellation in the name of good health.
I'm giving up coffee.
To be fair, I give up coffee about once a month. It lasts roughly until the next time I have to get out of bed for work. So, an average of about 18.5 hours. As I type this, it's been about 45 seconds since my last cup. I'm not terribly optimistic. I'm hoping perhaps declaring it to the internet will maybe give me pause next time I reach for the caffeine.
Delicious caffeine.
I miss you already.
What I hope I won't miss is the dependency headaches, the bloating (sorry internet), the arrhythmia, the insomnia, and the anxiety. And - since milk became a thing of the past recently - the taste. Let's be honest. Internet, forgive me for being crass, but coffee made with soy milk tastes like balls.
So I've been researching alternatives.
Banana Water
In Japan, the fashion is to eat a banana and drink a cup of lukewarm water to start the day. Oh Japan. That is not happening.
Carob
The reason I've placed a picture of a disappointed kitten directly below the word carob should be immediately apparent to anyone who has actually tasted the stuff. Looks like chocolate, tastes like betrayal. Apparently it is an excellent substitute for coffee. Internet, forgive me if I don't believe you.
Yerba Mate
Described variously as 'woody', 'smoky', 'vegetal' and 'grassy', yerba mate tea is apparently a great substitute for coffee. I imagine it's a pretty good substitute for lunch, too, if you enjoy eating salad that's on fire. The picture above sums up exactly how I think this tea would taste, donkeys included. I don't think it's the tea for me.
I think I'll stick to a healthy morning routine of orange juice and grumpiness. Is anyone else living a caffeine free life? Any other coffee substitutes out there I should try?
A few months ago I had me a big ole flat white coffee. And I had the following conversation with my stomach.
Me: Hey stomach! I know it's been a while, but how good is milk? Stomach: Oh! Well this is awkward. See, the thing is.... we're not gonna be digesting that anymore. Me: What are you - you can't just do that. Stomach: No, I'm...I'm pretty sure I can. Me: I'm not going to stop having dairy. Stomach: Well then this is not going to be fun for you.
It wasn't. To add insult to injury, I've always loathed soy milk. It's milk...made from beans. Something has gone terribly wrong there. I don't believe nature intends anything for anyone, but I'm sure the humble soybean never thought: One day I'm going to be milk.
And yet here I am, months later, having finally accepting that I am, in fact, a lactard. And that soy milk is not so bad - I actually prefer it in my coffee these days. I'm slowly dipping my toe in the water of other dairy substitutes, and it is in that spirit that I decided to review the endearingly named cream cheese substitute, Tofutti.
If I was apprehensive of making milk out of beans, I was positively terrified that someone had attempted cheese. I wouldn't have bought it if I hadn't already absentmindedly bought english muffins. You can't have english muffins without cream cheese. It's the law.
Happily, it turns out cream cheese is not too hard to imitate. Although the Tofutti is disconcertingly white, the taste and texture are pleasant enough, and almost exactly the same as cream cheese. Well. Lite cream cheese.
Tofutti doesn't taste anything like real cream cheese in exactly the same way that lite cream cheese doesn't. But that is good enough for this lady's breakfast.
This was the weekend I discovered, or rediscovered, several things.
1. I like apple beer. I like apple beer better straight out of the long neck in the car park of the bottle-o at a late hour, and a sub-zero temperature. I like apple beer best while watching dear friends dance with inflatable dinosaurs.
2. There are iPhone apps that will make your bad, drunken photos look like they were taken badly by your drunk parents back in the seventies. In one saturday night I managed to take about 83 photos of early, early morning fog and lamplights in Canberra. My apple-beer brain thought fog and lamplights were the most original photographic subject known to man.
3. Most importantly, all these factors conspired the next morning to convince me that the only thing that would alleviate apple-beer hangover was Gordon Ramsay style scrambled eggs.
Bad photo; good food. I like to think it encapsulates the paradox that is Gordon Ramsey: how can such an off-putting man create such tasty, tasty breakfasts? I don't know, but you have to trust me when I say these are the BEST SCRAMBLED EGGS I have ever had.
For those of you who don't want to look at Gordon Ramsey (I cannot blame you), these are the basics:
Crack two or three eggs into a cold, non-stick saucepan.
Add half to one tablespoon or so of butter.
Put on a low heat, and stir (with a rubber spatula) continuously until eggs are well combined and butter is melted.
Turn heat up slightly, and keep stirring until eggs thicken, and scramble. This might take a while, but it will be worth it.
Season at the end of cooking, not the beginning! Salt does bad things to raw eggs.
Don't bother to add cream; you don't need it. Serve with toast and coffee and the slowly returning memories of last night.
Roule Galette is a teeny-tiny creperie hidden down a teeny-tiny alleyway in Melbourne's inner city. I realised recently that I visit this place so often, I know the menu by heart. I can confidently say that it has become one of my Favourite Places To Be.
Just in case you're not sure you should visit, here are ten excellent reasons to go:
- The Chevre, amazing chevre (a goats cheese) and spinach galette
- Strong, hot coffee of the utmost deliciousness
- Lemon-sugar crepes, simple and comforting
- Orange Pekoe tea, chamomile tea, lots and lots of tea
- Pear Cider. A drink I usually hate, but it is strangely delicious at Roule
- Dollops of butter - these come melting atop more or less everything on the menu
- Retro coloured light bulbs which lend a romantic feel to the whole alleyway
- Accommodating owners who open early on a sunday morning to welcome hungry customers
- Lovely french waiters who humor me politely whilst I photograph them at work
And finally, this lovely little story. "Roule Galette" means Roll Galette. The illustrations are sweet, and if you visit the place yourself, you can pick a copy up and practice your french.
. One of my favourite food discoveries of recent years came via Stephen Fry in the pretty good film of the very good book, V for Vendetta. In this particular scene, Evey is staying with TV show host Stephen Fry (I’m sure his ‘character’ has a name, but let’s stop pretending he’s not just playing Stephen Fry!) and he makes her breakfast: eggs fried in a hole in a slice of bread.
You’ve probably – unlike me – heard of it before. It’s pretty genius, after all, and comes with a slew of cool names. Toad in the hole. Eggy in a basket. One Eyed Jack. Hobo Toast. Not sure how that last one came about…
Needless, to say, upon tasting the Hobo Toast, Evey flips out. “V made me breakfast just like this!” She points out, a fact I am conveniently ignoring to write this blog. “Maybe I am V?” Stephen retorts. Well, you certainly have the same talent for breakfast. I tell ya, put me in a totalitarian world, and I am totally shacking up with the one man who can source butter and eggs. And homoerotic art.
There are a million ways to make it, but this is how I do it. I would recommend using that bread you made, remember? Honestly, unbelievably delicious. If not, any other thick sliced bread.
Melt 1 tbsp butter in a frying pan until it begins to bubble.
Cut or tear a hole in a thick slice of bread. The hole will probably be around 3ish cms in diameter, but to be honest: it doesn’t really matter.
Coat the bread in the melted butter, and fry on one side until crispy.
Flip the bread over, and break an egg into the hole. Fry until the egg is a bit more than half done. You should be able to see the egg cooking from the bottom up.
Flip again, cook until you think the egg is done to your liking. This is usually ascertained the scientific way, by poking.
Add salt, pepper, and then pick it up with your hands and eat it. And watch Stephen Fry in a sketch from A Little Bit of Fry and Laurie telling you how to be gorgeous:
Thanks, Stephen Fry! You can also see him on QI, series F, screening on ABC every Tuesday night at 9:30. Catch up on missed episodes here.
Not studying and working part time is a pretty sweet deal. I seem to spend most of my time making lists. I have made you one today:
What I am eating right now, that I think you should probably be eating right now too: Ricotta on toast with a thin slice of fresh tomato, salt, pepper and a drizzle of balsamic. No really. It’s super tasty and your mum will be pleased you’re having vegetables for breakfast. (NB: Get your ricotta from the deli, it should be firm and crumbly. Don't get that soupy stuff that comes in containers, it would be terrible on toast!)
Music I am listening to right now: The Evangelist by Robert Forster (from the Go-Betweens). It is really, really nice. He's the guest speaker at the launch of the Nick Cave Exhibition at my work, and I will be quite thrilled to be in the same room as him. Although not allowed to go anywhere near him, I suspect, for fear of embarrasing the fine institution for which I work. Demon Days is so lovely.
Art that I am enjoying browsing online and dreaming of owning:Jennifer Davis, (see above) with thanks to Ellen for sharing her with me.
What I am regretting: Not listening to Animal Collective’s latest album sooner. I could have spent that many more days with it. Wasted time, my friends. If you haven't yet, listen to My Girls, the timpani drum that comes in at about 2 minutes made me stop in the middle of the street. (Maybe don’t listen to it while you’re crossing the street).
Reasons I am pleased the internet exists: Free Rice.com, which is the best thing ever. Waste time on the internet and help the poverty stricken at the same time! TVTropes: because I’m really into this wasting time on the internet thing. Janene Garofalo on Youtube. She is my number one celebrity crush and I want to be her best friend.
Things I plan to make brave attempts at cooking: Bread. For the first time. When I find a recipe I'm happy with / not scared of. Paneer. I dream of the curries I could make with paneer...
Movie trailers that made me weep like a small child with a skinned knee: Just this one.
For about a year and a half now The Boy I have been living in what is referred to as Melbourne's Inner North. Right now we're living in a comfortable, pretty suburb famous for - amongst other things - being home to the greater part of Melbourne's underworld. (A recent discovery, somewhat alarming but don't worry Mum, we've got deadlocks on the doors!) I love our suburb, gangland shootings and all, and I think after two and a half years of life in Melbourne I can safely say I've decided now and forever: I'm a Northern Suburbs Girl.
Since moving "out north" I've spent many a weekend investigating the local food scene. Top recommendations include the amazing Il Caminetto pizza place in Moonee Ponds, the famously cheap Laksa Kingon Racecourse Road in Flemington, and the lovely White Rabbit Record Bar in Kensington. I also love Gerald's Baron Rathdowne Street in Carlton for a quiet place to drink, and the very friendly Workshop Bar, whilst technically in the city, is conveniently located just off Melbourne's main northbound tram line. But (prepare for a plug folks) perhaps my favourite find, and a place where I have spent many a sunday morning investigating the menu, is an unassuming little café called Pepper.
Pepper's Comfy Surrounds
Pepper is far and away the best spot over my side of town to enjoy a big breakfast. Technically in the west (although a very north west) the café is tucked away on the pretty Pin Oak court in Flemington. The premises used to be a little corner shop, and the original signage above the door announces the place as The Girdwood Hygienic Library, totally charming, especially if your boyfriend is a typography nerd and you like to be lectured about the specifics of font over breakfast. The coffee is fair trade and always tasty, the bacon is crisp and the poached eggs are always just runny enough to ooze over my toast. The menu changes frequently enough that there is often something new to try, and when the place is open for dinner, the back room - complete with open fireplace sparking in the corner - is a very snug spot to enjoy a pizza too.
Bacon and Eggs & Sweetcorn Hotcakes at Pepper
I can't recommend Pepper enough, which is why I've dedicated this very little post to their amazing big breakfast. I think the place must open in the wee hours of the morning because they're feeding people even at the antisocial hour of 7am on a friday, but the staff are chirpy even when it's still dark outside, and who doesn't want to look out at this view whilst scoffing down breakfast at the outset of a day.
The Early Bird Gets the View
Folks, thanks for reading my little plug. For those of you who have asked, it is my favourite breakfast spot. A jewel in the North (western) Crown, if that crown were... made of..... food. Yeah. Go eat at Pepper, you'll frikkin love it.
As I mentioned in a previous post, when it comes to breakfast I'm not your traditional toast-or-cereal kinda gal. In fact, I can't remember the last time I had cereal, and I intend to keep it that way. The last breakfast-themed-post was something to eat when you're on your way out the door. This one is for those weekend mornings where after sleeping in, breakfast turns inevitably into lunch. The mushroom recipe I stole from my sister many years ago, and have been enjoying ever since. Couscous is a much loved staple in my house, stemming in part from my aversion to toast. The poached eggs - well. You may have your own method of poaching eggs, if so, I encourage you to go for it. But I have tried for years to get that perfect poached egg without any luck. I've tried swirling the water, different kinds of vinegar, everything. And then I discovered cheating...
Marisa's Mustardy Mushrooms, and Easy Poached Eggs
What You Will Need:
One (or two) fresh free range egg(s)
8-10 button mushrooms
2 tsp dijon mustard
2 tsp mustard seeds
1 tbsp sour cream
A dash worcester sauce
Olive oil
Butter
Couscous (or bread, if you so wish!)
What You Will Need to Do:
Heat about 1/2 tbsp of butter in a fry pan.
Slice mushrooms and add.
After a couple of minutes add mustard and mustard seeds. Stir to make sure all the mushrooms are coated.
Add the sour cream and dash of worcester sauce. Stir. You should have something like a sauce at this point. Let it bubble away on a low heat while you make your eggs.
You'll need to give it a stir everyone now and then. The sauce should cook down until it's sticky and creamy, and some of the mushrooms are browning.
How to Poach Eggs (the cheating way)
Put glad wrap (or cling film) over the top of a cup or mug, ensuring that it is concave enough to hold a large egg
Rub the plastic with a bit of oil
Crack the egg into the plastic, and gently bring the edges together so that the egg is sitting in a little pouch, ensuring there is a pocket of air at the top
Twist the top together, and peg it closed
Tie your little egg bundle to a spoon handle long enough to rest on top of a pot of boiling water, ensuring that the egg will be completely submerged (but not touching the bottom or sides of the pot. That will end badly, trust me)
Lower into boiling water, and let cook for 3 - 5 minutes, or until done to your liking
Unwrap and voila - perfectly cooked, smooth, round, restaurant quality poached eggs. No messing around with whirlpools or vinegar required!
A couple of minutes before the eggs are done, prepare couscous.
I never bother with the whole saucepan, bringing things to the boil deal; just add your cous cous to a measuring cup and double the volume by adding boiling water . (ie, for 1/4 cup of couscous, add enough water to bring it up to 1/2 cup.) Stir with a fork, and cover for a couple of minutes. It's done when the water has been fully absorbed.
Remember that butter you saved by not frying your eggs? Yeah, we're going to use it now. Stir about a tsp through the couscous. If you've never liked couscous, you probably were missing this crucial step. Butter makes everything nice.
Pile everything on a plate, poached egg on top, and go to town, my friends.
It may seem a bit involved for breakfast, but if you know what you're doing, this recipe can easily be made in under 10 minutes. And it's worth it - trust me.
Breakfast is probably my favourite meal of the day.
Morning is probably my least favourite time of day. Wake me up in the morning and I have been known to yell, throw things, tell you your mother would be disappointed in you, and later have no memory of the event. Suffice to say I am not a happy lassie before noon. So often it is with confusion and despair that I stare into the fridge of a morning, wanting something delicious but lacking the mental faculties and emotional fortitude to choose.
We once hypothesised a ‘What Should Tara Have for Breakfast’ website, where people could make these decisions for me. I still dream of it longingly.
Fresh, tasty, and easy – these are my breakfast requirements. I love eggs, but breakfast must be quick, otherwise more often than not I will choose a delicious cooked breakfast over a 9am lecture. For the weekday rush, these blueberry muffins are a real treat.
What You Will Need
1 1/2 cups plain flour 2 tsp baking powder A little bit less than 3/4 cup white sugar 1 egg 80 ml milk 80 ml vegetable oil 1 - 2 cups blueberries (fresh or frozen)
For the topping: 1 tbsp butter 3 tbs white sugar
2 tbs flour
2 tsp ground cinnamon
What You Will Need to Do
Preheat your oven to 200 degrees C. Line muffin tin with...muffin liners? Patty tins? You know what I mean! I got ten muffins from this batch.
Sift flour and baking powder together, mix with sugar.
Combine egg and oil in a cup measure, top up with milk to make it one cup (roughly 80 mls).
Before you mix wet and dry ingredients, it's time to make your topping. Rub together butter, flour, sugar and cinnamon until crumbly. You might have to tweak the proportions slightly - I always do.
Mix wet and dry ingredients together - gently. Fold in blueberries. Do *not* over mix - your muffins will be tough! No one likes tough muffins! Unless it's a euphemism for sassy old ladies.
Fill the muffin cups, and top with crumbly sugar mix.
Place in oven, cook for around 20 minutes, or until a skewer comes out clean.
Enjoy early Monday morning with a strong cup of coffee and the following tracks on the headphones:
We'd been living in our new little rental place for a few months when spring hit and suddenly, we were drowning in blossoms. So it shouldn't have been a surprise when, a couple of months later, we discovered seven of our trees were bearing fruit. For someone with a child's grasp of botany, however, it was, and I couldn't stop myself from taking roughly 8 million photos.
Our felicity was compounded when we realised that not only did the fruit look great, it tasted delicious. I cannot now remember how many days I came home from work only to stop before I got in the door and gorge on sun warmed plums, straight from the tree to my mouth. And much like this farmer I was loving the fact that it was free. Bliss.
It all got a bit too much, and realising that I and my housemates couldn't possibly eat the nearly seven kilos I picked from one tree in one day in a bout of plum madness (and also realising that my friends had started to look slightly terrified when I kept trying to offload plums), I stored them in the freezer and made plans for jam. Enter jam queen, fellow Morrissey lover, and ridiculously talented illustrator, Alice.
According to Alice Jam (plum)
What You Will Need (This is the only recipe I've made that requires more apparatus than ingredients.)
Knife
Large plastic or ceramic bowl
Large saucepan
Glass jars
Ladle
Sugar
Plums
You will need plums
What You Will Need to Do:
Day One, or, The Four C's of Jamming
Check your fruit for gross bits (cut off if needed), and then wash and weigh them. Alice suggested that for every kilo of plums, you need roughly 3 cups of sugar. We ended up with about three kilos, and about seven cups, allowing for the fact that stoning the plums would reduce the weigh somewhat. Chop your plums up, leave the skin on, remove the stones. We hypothesised that it doesn't really matter if a couple of the stones get in – after all, that's where the pectin lives – as long as you get them out again before jarring your jam.
Chuck all your plum bits into a non-metallic bowl and mix in with sugar. It should be wet and oozy when combined.
Wet and Oozy
Cover with cling film and refrigerate overnight.
Day Two, or, I Couldn't Figure Out Alliteration For This One, Sorry
Remove bowl from fridge, and poke fruity goo with a wooden spoon. Marvel that the nascent jam looks so much like alien slime and realise that even if this jam caper goes horribly wrong, you could probably make a living selling this stuff to SFX companies.
Put goo in a large saucepan over a medium heat
Put a clean ceramic plate in the fridge. This will come in handy later.
Stir, adjust temperature, stir some more. This will likely go on for about an hour: your jam (for this is what it is at this point) will have reduced by about a third. Be careful you don't get scalded at this point. Boiling jam is the hottest substance known to man!
Tastier and Hotter than Lava
This is where the cold plate comes in handy (you were wondering, right?). Put a blob of jam on the plate: place the plate in the fridge. After five or so minutes remove from the fridge, and eat. If this is the consistency you would like your jam, you're done. You don't want to cook it to long – you won't be able to get it out of the jar and that would be tragic.
Part Three: Cooking Your Jars.
Meanwhile, I hope you've been collecting glass jars. Preheat your oven to around 150 degrees.
Soak jars and lids in very, very hot water, and scrub labels off. Clean the lids thoroughly and set aside to dry – they won't be going in the oven.
Place jars on a tray and in a preheated oven. Turn oven off. The heat from the oven will sterilize the jars in about ten minutes.
Ladle your jam into hot, clean jars. You will probably want gloves, tongs and friends around to help with this bit, it gets a bit awkward.
Screw lids on tightly: press the buttons on the lids down. Now, I don't know if this is true, but Dr Dean says it is. There is always a risk that jam will go bad if the jars aren't properly sterilized – set jam aside for a few days, and if your lids don't pop up you're ready to go!
Make some scones and eat a whole jar of jam with a friend of yours. You will feel a little bit sick, but it will be delicious.
Fruit Goes In, Jam Comes Out
Listen to some happy jam making songs. I recommend:
A Whistle and A Milkshake is a blog dedicated to good food and good music, two things that the lovely ladies behind each post enjoy very much indeed. Ellen sips her milkshake down south in Melbourne, and Tara whistles a happy tune across the nation's capital. They hope you like good food and good music too.
In Japan, the fashion is to eat a banana and drink a cup of lukewarm water to start the day. Oh Japan. That is not happening.
